Introduction: How we got toughness wrong and where to go. From tough coaches, tough parents, and tough guys to finding real inner strength ; Sink or swim : how we took the wrong lesson from the military

The first pillar of toughness: Ditch the facade, embrace reality. Accept what you are capable of ; True confidence is quiet. Insecurity is loud ; Know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em

The second pillar of toughness: Listen to your body. Your emotions are messengers, not dictators. ; Own the voice in your head

The third pillar of toughness: Respond instead of react. Keep your mind steady ; Turning the dial so you don't spiral

The fourth pillar of toughness: Transcend discomfort. Build the foundation to do hard things ; Find meaning in discomfort.