Preface: Fear and loathing at the dinner table

Introduction: Socializing in the powder keg era

Pre-mingle prep. The dangers of "anti-social" media ; Embracing small talk ; Unset your mind ; Spiritual CliffsNotes: get centered ; Self-checklist: recognize your own triggers ; Bad blood warning: stay clear of open wounds

Sate starts and innocuous initial forays. Rule number one

-and Two and Three: never assume ; Avoiding the third rail: the ABCs of some common volatile topics ; Safe doesn't have to mean boring

Entering the DMZ: taking chances. The rewards of respectful debate ; Conversational recon: how to test for friends, foes, or fanatics ; Telltale warning signs of impending conversational doom ; Don't be a knee jerk: techniques for avoiding overreaction

The way of the empath. Listen with all your might (then listen some more) ; Ask real questions ; Visualization: picturing the inner three-year-old ; Love and flattery are your best friends; keep them close ; Yielding without losing: applying Tai Chi principles in conversation

Creative survival strategies. Storytelling as a smoothing-over technique ; Conversational camouflaging: how going undercover is sometimes better than wearing your opinion on your sleeve ; The power of silence ; Humor: a mingler's greatest tool

Diversionary tactics. Swimming to an island of common ground ; Deflection: six subject-changing techniques; The ejector seat: essential escape maneuvers ; The party pause ; Graceful retreat

Helping others: being a social diplomat. Peacekeeping missions ; The fine art of distraction ; Beware of death by triangulation ; Helping a partner ; Lending a hosting hand

When mingling online. How to don your virtual armor ; Seven rules to post by ; Counting to ten (hours) ; Dealing with trolls

Channeling your inner Buddha: family get-togethers. Pre-visit instructions ; Love means never having to say you're sorry (that you voted for someone else) ; Divide and conquer (or at least contain) ; Baby steps: venturing out of the neutral zone

Handling special circumstances. Advice for handling upsetting public altercations ; Tangling with the tangential: doctors, doorman, and dry cleaners ; A word about facing nonpolitical "enemies'; Picking battles: when it is worth a skirmish

Epilogue: The "Enemy" dispelled.