Foreword / by Emma Watson

Undesirable No. 1, or, Draco's first scrape with the law

My muggle family, or, Runt of the pack

Early editions, or, Mother Goose!

The magic in the making, or, James Blond and the ginger whisker

My brothers are already sick of it, or, Projectiles at the premiere

Anna and the King, or, Clarice and Hannibal

The Potter auditions, or, When Draco met Hermione

The table read, or, Kiss kiss kiss on the bum

Draco and Darwin, or, How Malfoy got his sneer

Undesirable No. 1 (part 2), or, Gregory Goyle and the exploding hot chocolate

A day on the set, or, Severus Snape's sausage sandwich

Fans, or, How (not) to be a real dick

How to fly a broomstick, or, The wasps and the wimp

The best of both worlds, or, Broomstick prick

Transfiguration troubles, or, Maggie and the millipede

Dramione, or, The chicken and the duck

The Weaslebees at work, or, Golfing with Gryffindorks

Draco and Harry, or, Two sides of the same coin

A bop on the nose, or, Crabbe, Hagrid and the spooky rubber Tom

A kind word from Dumbledore, or, A breath of fresh air

Alan Rickman's earlobes, or, Don't tread on my f*cking cloak!

Undesirable No. 1 (part 3), or, The world's best/worst chaperone

Malfoy's manner, or, A hug from Voldy

All things must pass, or, The girl from the Great Hall

Beyond the wand, or, Lonely in La-La Land

The ballad of Barney's beanery, or, If I were a rich man

Time well spent, or, Versions of myself

Afterword.